Hey, how is everybody today? It's Fast Tip Friday time, Charlie Hauck growth dynamics. I've got one. It might be a little bit long, but some of you—I hope you'll laugh at it, not be offended by any of it—but it's something, It's one of those cycles that I keep running into when I'm out at a client site, talking to their sales teams.
And I'm going to open this up with a question: Are you spending too much of your time on Bohica Island?
Now some of you may say, What the hell did Charlie just say? What's this Bohica Island thing?
Well, let me explain it to you. I was at a client site recently, and I was talking to one of their producers, and his attitude was just kind of—he was having a tough time. He wasn't hitting his numbers, he felt like the world was pushing back against him, he was feeling kind of victimized. And I'm like, So what's going on?
He says, "Man, I'm just—I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. It just seems like every person I talk to is miserable. All they care about is, I gotta have a low price. And it's just—it's driving me crazy. I don't know if—I don't know how long I can stay here."
And I said, well, look, man, it sounds like you need to get your head adjusted. And he's like, well, I'm trying.
So it was kind of interesting. He said he was—you know, it was one of those Fridays. He just didn't want to work a full day, so he laid out a schedule so it looked like he was still working, and if anybody saw where his car was parked or whatever, it wouldn't look like he wasn't on the job.
But he ended up going to this bar, and in this bar were a bunch of other salespeople. They're sitting around. He's like, wow, I thought I was the only one kind of cutting out a little bit early on Friday. But he's sitting in this bar, and he sits down and talks to a couple of them, and the next thing you know, they sound just like he sounded to me.
Nobody's buying, prices are too high, bosses are unreasonable, everything's hard. It was a pity party, and they were all saying how the world sucked and it was not their fault.
And so he met this one guy named Joe, and Joe said to him, "Hey, why don't you come with me this weekend? I hear what you're saying. Come visit me at my place on Bohica Island. We can play a round of golf, just get to know each other. Maybe we can—I don't know—hang out."
So he goes, and he spends a day with Joe playing golf on Bohica Island, and he has a good time. And they commiserate with how it sucks out there, and people don't understand how hard it is to be in sales.
And so, a couple of weeks later, Joe says, "Hey, I really enjoyed your company. Why don't you and your wife come spend a weekend with me and my wife at our timeshare on Bohica Island"
And so he goes, Really?
He goes, "Yeah, but we gotta leave Thursday night."
He goes, Thursday night?
He goes, "Look, man, your boss will never know. Besides, you've been working hard enough anyway. You deserve a break". So he tells his wife, "Come on, let's go, honey". And she's kind of like, "Where is it?"
No, no, it's all right. So off they go. They spend a weekend with Joe and his wife at the timeshare on Bohica Island. They get there Friday late morning. They spend Friday, Saturday, take off at noon Sunday, come back. Goes to work. A couple of weeks later:
"Hey, we're going to Bohica Island again in a couple of weeks. You want to go again? In fact, we're going to stay till Monday too." So now it's Thursday night to Monday. He's spending a little more time at Bohica Island, and he's starting to really like it, because people there really understand his problems, and they really understand it's not his fault that he's not hitting his numbers.
So, surprise—Joe calls him and says, "Joe, you're not going to believe it. My wife and I sold the condo. We bought a nice cottage on Bohica Island. In fact, I'm probably going to move there full-time, so anytime you want to come, you can come spend as many days as you want to on Bohica Island"
So once again, he's having one of those months where it's just not working out, and he's upset about his productivity. He's upset about the pressure from his boss, his best customer gave an order to his competitor, he just felt like telling everyone to F off.
So he goes, "Honey, come on, we're going." And they're going to spend five, six days at Bohica Island, at Joe's cottage. So that happens, and they go and have a good time, because everybody understands how hard it is and what a miserable job he has, and his boss is unreasonable.
And next thing you know, he's spending his two-week vacation there, and he's sneaking off. And so he gets there one weekend, and Joe says, "Hey, the awesomest thing just happened. I got elected the mayor of Bohica Island."
And he goes, "Really? What is your job being the mayor on Bohica Island?"
He says, "Well, it's really—it's not a great big deal. I make a little money, but my job is really to promote Bohica Island and convince more and more people to come here and to live in this culture where everybody realizes it's not our fault. We've been victimized, and life would be so much better if they'd understand these aren't excuses—this is just the way it is."
And the next thing you know, he's spending time there. And finally his boss catches up with him and says, "Yo, dude, where have you been? I've noticed you're not making the calls you should be making."
He says, "Oh yeah. Well, I just want to let you know I'm thinking of leaving the company. I'm probably going to relocate to Bohica Island, because my friend Joe—he had the same problem with his boss—and he moved there, and everybody understands, and everybody realizes that's just the way it is. What do you expect in this kind of economy? And I'm not going to have to put up with crap like this from you."
And so he goes, "Well, why don't I make it easy? You're done today. You're fired."
He said, "See? There you go again, blaming me."
And so the moral of the story is: If you want to find people that victimize themselves, don't take responsibility, have a negative attitude, and blame everyone else—you can find them in any bar at two o'clock on a Friday afternoon. And they're all sitting there talking about going to Bohica Island.
And in one of those conversations, somebody's going to wise up and say, "Hey, where the hell did the name Bohica come from?"
And somebody's going to look at you and say, "Don't you get it? Bend Over, Here It Comes Again."
And that's why they go to Bohica Island.
Have a great Friday. Don't get on the plane the next time somebody asks you to come spend a weekend there. It's the first step to a bad outcome. Be strong. Be straight. Take responsibility. And let the Bohicans sit in the bar and cry in their beer.
You're better than that.
See ya.
