Symptoms:
Charlie had been working with a long-time client and just can’t believe why some meetings could really get under his skin. Charlie left angry with this client’s attitude towards him, the ability to waste time like it was nothing and at times complete disrespect for Charlie and his process. Yet, this client was important to Charlie’s success each year and he was unable to fire them. He opened his stamp book and added a nice bright red anger stamp on this client’s page after the last meeting he had.
Diagnosis:
No, Charlie didn’t have a real stamp book and box of stamps in his glove box, but in his head, yes. Charlie was having a hard time letting go of the feelings he had with this client. He kept score of how that client made him with stamps and filled page after page for not only this client, but all of his clients.
Every time he visited the client, he could feel himself starting to boil up and ready to cash in all those anger stamps for one large blow up at the client.
Charlie knew continuing to hold onto the feeling of anger with this client was not a good thing to do. He also knew blowing up at the client would not result in anything positive for anyone. How was he going to stop feeling this way?
Prescription:
Charlie needed to remember he cannot control the client, but only control his reaction to the client. He was deciding to let his client’s actions make him angry. He could eliminate that stamp book and go into each meeting without any baggage by changing his emotional reaction to the client.
Changing an emotional reaction can be hard work. It’s a mental game to control your emotions. There are a few other tactics that can help Charlie not only change his reactions but set the whole meeting up to be more successful.
Here are a few tactics that Charlie needs remember to deploy to change the tone, setting and emotional response he has with this client:
Give homework to the client so the meetings stop wasting time
Set the expectations with the client for each meeting when scheduling the meeting
Practice “let’s pretend” and talk to the client about how the meetings are making him feel
Put ego aside and ask your client for help
Critical Thinking:
Do you have someone in your life you have a stamp book for? Maybe a client, friend or even a family member? Identify why you are keeping a stamp book on this person. How are you going to toss that stamp book out and free up your mental space and unload the emotional baggage?
The Drill:
Final Thoughts for the Morning:
Update us on how things went last week with your stated Goals and GD Tactics.
THIS WEEK: Please share your Top 3 Goals for this week and the GD tactics you plan to deploy.
