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PODCAST: I just don’t think they like me

Mar 8, 2021 6:45:00 AM


Opposite PencilsSymptoms:

“Here we go again,” Jim thought as he walked into his last call of the day. He always scheduled this monthly call to be the last of his day as it left him annoyed, angry, and confused when he walked out the door. Jim just could not create the type of relationship with this business owner that he felt was key to his success with other clients. There were never issues with products, pricing, or communications from Jim, his agency, or the manufacturers, but these monthly update and prospecting meetings always ended up making Jim feel like a complete failure. Jim’s positive, enthusiastic, and lighthearted approach obviously missed the mark with this client, and Jim was sure the client disliked the meetings as much as he did.


Jim seems to want to get his emotional needs met on the job. Changing his style to accommodate the clients would make him feel like a phony, and Jim refused to do that for anyone. He wants the client to like him when he walks in the door and when that does not happen, his mood and attitude shift during the meeting and  tension grew thicker as the meeting dragged on. Selling himself worked for most of his other clients, so Jim believed it should work with this person as well.


Jim is completely ignoring all of his DISC training and how his style might be different than the client’s. Both of Jim’s challenges came from his communication and behavior style. As an OUTGOING COMMUNICATOR (formerly High I), he drives his client a tad bit crazy since he is a PRECISE COMMUNICATOR (formerly High C). As soon as Jim walks into the client’s office he touches the items on the desk, moves literature around and starts chatting about the weekend and how his day went. Why is this an issue for the client? As a “C” the client keeps a neat office, likes direct communication and details. Jim is the opposite when he is in person. He is not as organized as the client in his structure of the sales meeting, jumps from topic to topic and doesn’t answer the client’s detail-oriented questions.

Jim can adapt his behavioral style when he is not in person- he can write concise emails and answers all questions the client has. That is why they get along great via email, but not so great in person.

Once the meeting starts feeling sour, Jim tries all he can do to recover by being even more of his High I self, and this particular clients turns even more disconnected. This leaves Jim feeling unliked and unhappy.

Here are a few simple ideas to help Jim have a more productive meeting with his client:

  • Move that appointment to the start of the day. While Jim wants to avoid letting this one meeting setting the tone for his whole day, what is he actually doing is going in there under more stress at the end of the day and that allows his more natural style to come out easier.
  • Review the DSIC checklist for communicating. This sheet is a clue sheet that helps Jim review his traits and try to identify that of the person he is interacting with.
  • Set a more structured sales meeting. If the meeting will continually happen once a month, setting a template and structure would help immensely for both parties.
  • Don’t forget business is business. Jim wants to relate and interact with the client to feel good in the relationship. That is not how the client feels.

Critical Thinking:

Can you share a time where you notice your DISC profile was causing a rub with the person you were working with? How did you manage to work through this?

The Drill:

Final Thoughts:

“If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.” - Margaret Thatcher

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” —Dolly Parton

The Drill:
Your Top 3 Goals & Tactics for the Week

LAST WEEK: Update us on how things went last week with your stated Goals and GD Tactics.
THIS WEEK: Please share your Top 3 Goals for this week and the GD tactics you plan to deploy.


Photo by Alice Yamamura on Unsplash