This is one of the core concepts that we think is essential in successful business development, and frankly I think it's an element that's critically important for all kinds of communication, no matter what you're doing.
Whether you're “selling” or you're just having a conversation with people you work with, or even possibly people that you live with, I have plenty of clients in my 35 years in this business whose spouses have encountered me and said “hey, where did you learn to teach my husband or my wife to talk to me like that?”
A conversation is a conversation… two people sharing information trying to make a decision that they're both comfortable with and both feel mutually confident about.
Here's one of the things you've gotta know, when there's pressure to get to an answer, in some people's minds, they are thinking about closing a piece of business… the best most powerful move is to walk away.
When there's a conversation or an opportunity that is stuck, it seems to be in an in pass and you can't get an answer, stop trying to convince people to agree with your opinion or your position, it's not gonna work.
People buy or decide for their reasons, not yours so no matter how much you think this product or this service is the right one for you there's probably a good reason, or 3 or 5, where they disagree with you. So why spend your time arguing with people when you might have to go back to them for another opportunity later?
In my mind the single most important skill a lot of people have to master is the skill of willingness to walk away.
I was just in a situation with a car dealer, I'm looking to add a car to my corporate fleet, which means one and I wanted a car, I went talked to the dealer but there are some things that I wasn't comfortable with and they seem to be too reluctant to make a change on a couple of these things, so I said the single most important thing I could say, which is “then I think I'm gonna have to go find another dealer, this just isn't a good deal that we can both accept, thanks for the opportunity.”
As soon as I was willing to stand up and walk away, and frankly it was not a ploy, they could either save it or let it go, but as soon as I was willing to say this just isn't the right offer, the right car, or the right dealership, I got control of the process back as it turns out they didn't want me to leave way more than I didn't wanna go, so I ended up with a good deal on a car I can't wait to drive and with less stress, frustration and feeling like I was beaten up more than I was willing to put up with!
So, if you want to be more successful at collecting decisions, doing it quicker, and feeling like you've gotten a mutually acceptable agreement don't worry about how to convince people to do anything. You'll be spending time burning aggravation and ending up unhappy at some point in it. Do the right thing for both parties and stand up, shake hands and say I appreciate the effort but I just don't think this is where we can work it out and be willing to walk out the door.
There will always be another car.
There will always be another dealer.
There will always be another opportunity to find something that you'll be just as satisfied with.
Don't get too in love with one outcome or one option because then you won't see the most important option that you do have and that's the option to walk away. Walking away creates control and gives you the opportunity to make sure you're not gonna be unhappy at the end. Trust me, try it, believe it and you'll see the power that you gain. Thanks a lot, take care, have a great weekend
