I want to talk about kind of a one off topic today… and I'm sure I've alluded to it before in some of the other Fast Tip Friday’s, but this is something that I've seen in my personal life with some friends lately and something I think any of us that are in business development, any of us that manage people in business development, we've got to know that simply put you can say anything to anybody as long as you package it correctly.
Now if you think you can just say to someone “I think you're wrong” you might get away with that and they might not even tell you that you annoyed them or ticked them off, but if you package it correctly you could at least engage in a conversation and not have them walk away thinking you're the biggest jerk they've ever met.
One of the things I want you to stress is as long as you package it correctly, make sure that you get to the point don't drag it out, but just say what you have to say…
“Hey, can I share with you that I think that what you just said might not be as applicable as you think?” “Is it all right if I disagree with you? I want to know before it makes you upset.” “I've gotta tell you something and my biggest fear is that you're gonna react and we end up in an emotional conversation, not a real conversation.”
It isn't just saying it, it's how you say it!
I'd like everyone to think about the next time you have a challenging circumstance that you've got to share with friend or foe or family that you put it in the right package before they open up the box and it blows up in both your face and their face.
“Hey, I don't want to upset you so I'm not sure if I can tell you this…” They'll always give you permission. “Let's pretend I have to say something that you're not gonna like, how can I do it without upsetting you?”
They'll give you the keys to the kingdom and the answer to the puzzle, but the first most important part is you've gotta be willing to not live with “it's just the way I am, why should I change?” It's going to be more effective…. and I'll take effective over real anytime, any day, and I believe the person you're talking to will feel the same way about it. It shows you care, and when you care, you can disagree, you can challenge, but if you just think you should pop them in the nose, probably not gonna get the result you're looking for.
Think before you talk. It's tough to get out of that hole once you dig it. Take care, have a great weekend!
