Relationship building is important in everything that we do. It's in business development, we've got to be trusted, and we've got to know how to build trust. We've got to know what sets the foundation for building trust, and that's understanding how to be successful at relationship building.
Relationships with the people, you may not like them, but you've got to do business with them. That still requires you to build the good relationship with them. Our personal lives are nothing but a spider web, and a maze of relationships that we've got to manage, and it's not when you feel like it… You've got to know when to do it all the time. And one of the key things to creating the successful foundation for that relationship is to understand the power of vulnerability.
Most of us have been trained “don't show vulnerability… zomeone or everyone will take advantage of you.”
Don't give someone the opportunity to beat you before you get a chance to show them how awesome and powerful and magical you are. It's good to show people that but look, vulnerability allows other people to feel more comfortable with you. You don't feel threatening, you don't feel intimidating, you don't feel overpowering and when you can give someone the comfort that you're not going to take advantage of their vulnerability, they'll share with you more completely more openly, more honestly, and you'll be able to get the information that will help you know more about them, and how to make whatever opportunity you've created with them more successful, more rewarding for them, more about them than it is about you.And that's really what helps get things started the right way.
When people hear I centered conversation, I centered positioning, meaning this is about me not about you, they automatically build distrust. If it's gonna be about you, it sounds like you don't care about me. But, when you create a moment of vulnerability and you allow people to see you as non threatening, as someone that's not trying to overpower or dominate them,
they're always gonna be more comfortable with you… now don't go out there and be a knucklehead or a buffoon. Be professionally vulnerable and personally confident at the same time and there's a bunch of phrases that can help you do that.
“Can you help me? I'm confused.”
“I'm not sure I heard you clearly, could you give me a little more detail? I want to make sure I understand you completely.”
“That's interesting… can you tell me more about that?”
Those are all phrases that give the other person a sense that they're not being threatened or that you're trying to be more important, or a bigger deal than they are at any moment Give people the opportunity to see you at your best, which is also your least threatening moment, be comfortable being vulnerable and watch your relationships grow, watch the depth of the relationship increase, watch people become more comfortable and more willing to give you.
The opportunities that other people aren't going to get…. vulnerability is actually power it's not a weakness. Learn to manage it and dull it out appropriately. So there you go, that's a little backwards tip, one of the core concepts of Growth Dynamics.
If you need help with it, get on the phone, let's have a little coaching moment, best of luck to you, have a great weekend.
